Papa: A Poem and A Short Angry Review of A Doc

 

Papa

 

No one gets you, not really. How I suffer when I hear them argue.

I loved you when you woke in Paris

while Hadley slept and you washed the Bumby bottles

and afterwards, went down for the papers

then you wrote 

You taught me everything I know.

You raised me, word by word.

I listened carefully to your Zen description

of the elephant and the lion, the fish and the sea, the boxer and the bullfight.

How the old women went up the hill in the early morning

to drink the bravery and came down grey faced.

When Pilar washed her feet in the stream, I knew I’d come home.

You named your boat Pilar. Of course you did.

 

You were truly One.

 

Because of you,

I keep my baby picture on my windowsill

to remind me of my promise.

I cannot bear to hear lesser lights talk about him. I turn into a romantic hero who unsheathes his sword and cries out, “I will cut his name out of your foul mouth!” Complaining lesser lights, dim lights, alcoholic this, alcoholic that, whined Mary Karr. ("Who are these people and why would  care what they have to say about Hemingway?" my husband asked me as we watched the doc.) Write one true sentence and then you can speak about him! I remember one true sentence of Mary Karr's from The Liar's Club:“Jim’s dick was always rock hard!” She slammed her fist on the table as she spoke. I’m paraphrasing, so maybe I don't remember it.

After seeing Ken Burn’s and Lynn Novick’s documentary, “Hemingway,” I felt brutalized emotionally. That week, my daughter gifted me a book, a small yellow volume of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s remarks about drinking, called On Booze, and I, so very traumatized, carried this book with me for at least two days, cradled it to my bosom as a touchstone, you, Scotty, you understand.

I didn’t learn anything from the Burns doc that I hadn’t already known. But, I was absolutely appalled that Burns and Novick would abandon Hemingway as a doddering old damaged paranoid drunk when he complained and was terrified of possible FBI surveillance. True fans know that Hemingway was right about the FBI, but Burns does not mention what we now know and even Hemingway’s wife, Mary acknowledged, that yes, Hoover had a file on Hemingway for years, considered him a dangerous Communist sympathizer, surveilled him, followed him, wanted desperately to arrest him. Arrêter, to stop. Here’s a good article about Hemingway and the FBI, thank you Salon, thank you David Masciotra!

I always love to watch a good doc about artists. I’m usually pretty content to bask in the glory for an hour or so, but I was very disappointed when this one skipped lightly over Hemingway’s Paris years with the artists and writers who made Paris, well, Paris! Come on! Let’s face it, what we feel about Paris began with Hemingway and his friends! I loved Sylvia Beach spreading the legend of Hemingway liberating Paris after WWII - great stuff! But, why didn’t Burns mention how Hemingway’s little boy, Bumby, called her Silver Beaches? Or that when they were poor, Hemingway washed the Bumby bottles while Hadley slept? Or that he always regretted divorcing Hadley? 

Why leave out any of the true, good stuff? 

©Patricia Goodwin, 2021

Patricia Goodwin is the author of When Two Women Die, about Marblehead legends and true crime and its sequel, Dreamwater, about the Salem witch trials and the vicious 11-year-old pirate Ned Low. Holy Days is her third novel, about the sexual, psychological seduction of Gloria Wisher and her subsequent transformation. Her latest novel is Low Flying, about two women suffering psychologically abusive marriages who find and nurture each other. Her newest poetry books are Telling Time By Apples, And Other Poems About Life On The Remnants of Olde Humphrey Farme, illustrated by the author, and Java Love: Poems of a Coffeehouse.

Within this blog, Patricia writes often about non-fiction subjects that inspire or disturb her, hopefully informing and inspiring people to be happy, healthy and free.

Magdalenas Are Whispering

The Rose Window, symbol of Mary Magdalene, Glowing

Magdalenas around the world are whispering.

Magdalenas do not want churches to burn. I can hear Elizabeth I (Cate Blanchett) screaming, “This small matter of religion!” Elizabeth, and her namesake who still rules, knew that religious freedom, very like freedom of speech, is the cornerstone of all freedom. And Magdalenas are peaceful and loving; they do not believe in terrorism, far from it.

But, Magdalenas cannot help but whisper and wonder if the fires in the three churches were not part of the curse of the last Knight Templar Grand Master, Jacques de Molay who was burned at the stake on the very site where Notre Dame stands now. The three fires, that is, Notre Dame, the Church of St. John in New York City, and the Temple Mount in Jerusalem, all burning on the same day, Palm Sunday, the day Jesus rode into Jerusalem.

Fire at St. John the Divine, NYC

Temple Mount, Jerusalem

Notre Dame sits on the Île de la Cité in Paris which has gone through many incarnations. 

First, the Celtic Parisiis, the first Parisians, settled on what was then a remote and isolated island on the River Seine. Their place of worship, built on ley lines, those invisible demarkations of lines of earth’s natural energy, was a Celtic temple to the Goddess Isis, the Divine Feminine. Next, the Romans took over and created a temple to Jupiter. Apparently, the Emperor Augustus was intimidated, as many old white men are, by the bare breasts of the Goddess. 

Goddess Isis

But, the Île de la Cité was meant to represent feminine power. After the Romans, another transition - the Knights Templar created a holy shrine to worship the true bride of Jesus, Mary Magdalene, whose womb is still considered to be the treasured Holy Grail, the cup that carried the bloodline, the child, Sarah, born of Jesus and Mary. Like the Knights Templar, Magdalenas believe that not only does Mary Magdalene symbolize the Holy Grail and the Bloodline, but she stands for the true message of Jesus Christ, one that has been stolen and corrupted by the Catholic Church, that of love, marriage, children and a natural, peaceful life, much closer to the original Celtic intention - definitely NOT a long-suffering, Jesus died for your sins, crucifixion, terrorizing all Catholics into grief and guilt and shame and giving money and paying tithes and dying in the Inquisitions. Not to mention the fake chastity and the ostentatious wealth of the Catholic Church.

Jesus told his disciples, “If you do not speak of this, I tell you, the very stones will cry out.”

The Knights Templar, whose original title was The Poor Fellow-Soldiers of Christ and of the Temple of Solomon, was originally established as a military order to protect pilgrims traveling to the Holy Land of Jerusalem. Their headquarters in Jerusalem was the Temple Mount. The Knights Templar became a favorite charity and accumulated, ironically, a great deal of wealth, becoming, instead of poor soldiers, a very early bank. The Templars were a strong and powerful organization from its founding in 1119 until 1312 when the order fell out of favor with King Philip IV of France who was deeply in debt to the Templars. Philip conspired with Pope Clement V to have the Templars disbanded but not before they tortured and burned many of the Templars at the stake. Most prominently, was the last Knight Templar Grand Master Jacques de Molay, who cursed both king and pope as he perished. Molay cried out, “God knows who is wrong and has sinned. Soon a calamity will occur to those who have condemned us to death.” Pope Clement died only a month later, and King Philip died in a hunting accident before the end of the year. Regardless of the deaths of these two men, it seems the Templar Bank easily morphed into the Vatican Bank in the resulting exchange of power from Templars to Catholic Church. The temple to Mary Magdalene easily shape-shifted to the worship of the Virgin Mary, promoting the Catholic Church's profiteering message of celibacy, grief and suffering. 

The Templars disbanded and traveled far and away to establish new orders: to Scotland where they began Scottish Rites Freemasonry and built Roslyn Chapel; some fled to Malta and became the Knights of Malta; some went to Portugal and became the Knights of St John. The Templars set up Switzerland, which to this day bears their flag - a white field and red cross - and of course we have the secret Swiss bank accounts. And the guardians of The Pope are the Swiss Guard. The Templars owned much of London too. Think of all the Temple names in London: some of the Templars’ lands in London were later rented to lawyers, which led to the names of the Temple Bar gateway and the Temple Underground station. Two of the four Inns of Court which may call members to act as barristers are the Inner Temple and Middle Temple – the entire area known as Temple, London.

The Knights Templar said, “Everything is hidden in plain sight for those with eyes to see.”

Magdalenas around the world are whispering about the three fires. Magdalenas are whispering, “They are worshipping the wrong Mary.”

Jesus told his disciples, “If you do not speak of this, I tell you, the very stones will cry out.”

Notre Dame Cathedral, the fire at the Church of St. John in New York City and the Temple Mount in Jerusalem. 

All three sites connected to the Knights Templar and their message of Jesus and Mary Magdalene, kept alive through hundreds of years. 

The beautiful rose windows of Notre Dame survived, as did the bees kept on the roof of Notre Dame. The rose is the symbol of Mary Magdalene - roses in art, architecture and music keeping her legend alive through the ages. Painters, troubadours, sculptors alike have painted roses, sung of roses, carved roses. Think of Rosalyn Chapel, Scotland; think of the bees of Rosalyn Chapel, entering their sacred hives through a carved rose. Look for the roses in art, look also for the scallop shell, another symbol of the Divine Feminine.

There is a discussion now of a possible green roof for the future of Notre Dame. That would be an incredible move into the future, a more feminine, life-giving future!

                                               Photo/Kristin Coppola

After the fire, the Holy Spirit still lives at Notre Dame. 

©Patricia Goodwin, 2019

Patricia Goodwin is the author of When Two Women Die, about Marblehead legends and true crime and its sequel, Dreamwater, about the Salem witch trials and the vicious 11-year-old pirate Ned Low. Holy Days is her third novel, about the sexual, psychological seduction of Gloria Wisher and her subsequent transformation. Her newest poetry books are Telling Time By Apples, And Other Poems About Life On The Remnants of Olde Humphrey Farme, illustrated by the author, and Java Love: Poems of a Coffeehouse.

Within this blog, Patricia writes often about non-fiction subjects that inspire or disturb her, hopefully informing and inspiring people to be happy, healthy and free.

The Greatest Violence Upon You

          What is the diet of choice of terrorists? It may surprise you to know that terrorists favor American fast food, which, of course, thanks to so-called Western Imperialism, may be found anywhere, even in the desert. Terrorists like to wash down their chicken deep fry with high-octane energy drinks like Red Bull, topped with a few Captagons for dessert. What’s a Captagon? A synthetic drug called fenethylline. Users have reported a feeling of emotional numbness allowing them to kill with “reckless abandon.” "You can't sleep or even close your eyes, forget about it," said a Lebanese user. “And whatever you take to stop it, nothing can stop it." "I felt like I own the world high," another user said. "Like I have power nobody has. A really nice feeling." "There was no fear anymore after I took Captagon," a third man added.

     A gamer's dream, a pill that refuses to let them sleep for days while they shoot, shoot, shoot, a pill that pumps them up like Rambo. Remember Rambo? That screaming banshee who mowed down his enemies with an automatic weapon. What was Rambo’s rifle anyway? The classic M60 that usually took two soldiers to operate: one to aim and shoot, the other to feed the ammo into the gun. Sly, slung with ammo like a bandido, shot and fed the gun himself, the lone wolf, the loose cannon, the working class hero who took matters into his own hands.

Rambo
This is not a video game and this is not a movie.

      Real life shooters have followed Rambo's example and mowed down former employers/employees; divorce lawyers; ex-wives; ex-girlfriends; classmates and teachers. 

      None of these terrorists were cooking their own food at home. None of them were following their ancient, traditional diet of whole grains, vegetables, beans and fruit. None of them are responsibly washing their bowl by hand after they’d eaten with gratitude. Vegans can get pretty passionate and loud while marching for World Peace, Equal Rights or the preservation of the bees, the monarch butterfly or our wild lands, but no vegan has ever picked up an automatic weapon to fight for the polar bear.

     The AK-47, the Kalashnikov, was the automatic weapon used in the most recent terrorist attack on Paris, capable of a deadly spray up to 328 yards. The cowardly distance between assassin and victim, not counting the yard for the gun itself. 329 yards to murder helpless unarmed men, women and children. People who were relaxing and enjoying life only a moment before. Paris was chosen as a target, like a beautiful woman is chosen as a target. Paris is beautiful, she is loved, she is elite. The typical criminal’s lament of “if I can’t have it, no one can.” Terrorists claim they do not want our Western lifestyle, they want to destroy it and us, yet they choose our smart phones, our social networks, our fast food and our guns.

     But, anyone may choose health and happiness at any time. Fire up the stove and simmer those lentils and brown rice. You’ll feel better. You’ll look around you with fresh eyes. Hate will seem so stupid when there is work and love. Your weapon of choice can be cooking, giving you the ability to change yourself, others and the world.

Renaissance Kitchen
ancient, traditional foods of lentils & brown rice cooking

(photo and kitchen by the author)

     Consider this quote about Iraqi women from Generation Kill – “They say you can see their ovens from outer space.”  Now, that's power! Why would anyone turn his back on that kind of power?

 

 The Greatest Violence Upon You

What is the greatest violence upon you?

but the loss of your ancient memory

the blue drink

the plastic taco

the microwaved orange paste

the 7-11 on the corner

dispensing drugs of every kind

more democratically blind than Justice herself

to race or creed, gender, age, poverty or wealth

stripping your mind and body

stealing your self from you

not a watering hole

but a black hole

on every corner of every small town and big city

drive by drink the blue drink, drive by irradiated orange paste boiling nuclear salt in your veins till you scream bloody murder your brother, drive by orange taco paste seething in your veins till you dose the fire with blue radioactivity murder your brother, drive by fire in your brain, drink the red drink, drink the blood of your brother, drive by

sucking in your children, your strong and clear making degeneration making degeneration, children making shrunken children, disposable children the

army makes sense for you 7-11 convenience the mother who replaces your mother while she works -

why cook when you can nuke some plastic sauce

when grain is your greatest freedom

when it will free you from SLAVERY

why not eat your slavery each and every day

feed the fires of slavery seething in your bellies the hunger that cannot be quenched seethes up like acid from what they tell you to do,

from what they want you do

KILL EACH OTHER! get a gun and shoot into the first McDonalds you see you'll feel better you’ll feel like a man ROAR LIKE RAMBO TILL THE GUN IS EMPTY and your belly STILL BURNS

even the richest man cannot send his butler

to go to the bathroom for him

Cancer used to be only for the wealthy

Now you want it too!

What will you build your civilization upon?

What is the message in the grain?

was it sent to us by aliens,

those who see us from above?

who visit our hangers of nuclear war

who came to these very shores

the year the power plant was built

to tell us

build not upon the split atom or unclean coal

they told us, tossing our ancient cities upon the grain

flinging down the patterns of Ur and Nineveh

Athens and Alexandria

circles we once built upon

the grain is free

it grows under your feet

multiplying like the loaves and fishes

it is the blood of the sacred covenant forgotten

Remember your grandmother?

or if you are young, your great-grandmother?

who would not send you out

without something warm in your belly?

something she formed like she formed you

from nature

with her own hands?

Black or “lily-white”

it makes no difference!

it's the same!

made from love!

to pump your blood to your brain,

your soul, your limbs to carry your soul,

your hands and feet to use your soul

to keep you sane

to keep your head up

to keep you humble before God

so you would not forget

your sacred body is not made of blue drink orange goo chips melted out of the mouths of machines grinding your heart and soul to mush one on every corner of the ghetto and cul de sac, ad infinitum, who wants to cook when you can fill your pockets with forgetfulness you and your food do not come from Taco Bell

©Patricia Goodwin, 2015

“The Greatest Violence Upon You,” from Atlantis by Patricia Goodwin.

Patricia Goodwin is the author of When Two Women Die, about Marblehead legends and true crime and its sequel, Dreamwater, about the Salem witch trials and the vicious 11-year-old pirate Ned Low. Holy Days is her third novel, about the sexual, psychological seduction of Gloria Wisher and her subsequent transformation. Her newest poetry books are Telling Time By Apples, And Other Poems About Life On The Remnants of Olde Humphrey Farme, illustrated by the author, and Java Love: Poems of a Coffeehouse.